Our Holiday

So me and Amber went off to Watergate Bay. We stayed in a beeeee-u-ti-ful blissful peaceful little pad at Waves - exceptionally clean, totally quiet, perfect location - loved it!

We hung out with The Parents and Uncle Les at Primrose Cottage. Les and dad cooked a fantazi dinner - it tasted great and Mother did surprisingly well at relinquishing kitchen-control for the first time in 20 years. Uncle Les has always been (and still is) uber cool.......I wish we could have got to know him a bit better over the years. There's still time - hopefully he will holiday with us again some time if he can tolerate the intense Naylor Family experience.

Me and Amber walked the coastal path down to Newquay listening to the i-pod. We watched a puppy lurcher RACING about on the beach and I wish wish wish I had known A when she was that age............so fast, so cute....and hopefully not so full of fear................

We had endless dog-chat in the lift, on the beach, in the restaurants and in the bars and just about everywhere else. Amber took a ride on the local bus with full-on Disco Legs. I tolerated the scornful stares form the local dog-lovers with my usual graciousness. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Lacy had a moment of CRAZINESS on the beach when a black lab came to say hello. Think little old arthritic lady limping along TRANSFORMED to sprightly young pup dancing around like Miley Cyrus on speed - absolutely brilliant!!! Made me glad to be alive watching her.

Me and the Sis spent a few happy hours drinking wine, playing Blokus and reading endless fash-mags in the Beach Hut and had a stylish day out at Fifteen - lovely food (the Ragu Paperdelle ROCKED and the cheese (washed down with the £12 glass of white port) was sublime). We spent hours watching the sunset at the hotel drinking Prosecco and reading every single bit of the Sunday papers - BLISS!!

The completely-gorgeous Graves-Barker family came to see us Sunday morning for a walk on the beach and coffee. We loved the Klip Klop and raced round on the beach - they have just moved house and Mary has sorted her job and we all agreed about how peachy life is..............and then it all went drastically wrong............................
I decided to entertain my dog-lovin friends with my impression of Lacy-lovin-the-lab and as I jumped in the air and kicked my heels showing my jazz hands my back WENT.

I never really knew what "my backs gone" meant before. Now I do. What "my backs gone" means is............initially a feeling of total and utter paralysis and horrible overwhelming FEAR based on the very real possibility that you might never ever walk again. When you do eventually get up (MASSIVELY helped by an uncharacteristically, extremely calm and pragmatic Sister) what follows on is several hours of crippling and acute pain. The fact that she laughed-like-a-drain every time she dragged me out of the car at the service station so I could stagger to WHSmith and stock up on hard-core full-strength Neurofen and walk round like a loon who had poohed her pants - well - it helped in a weird way!!!

Getting into bed brings no relief - a hideous painful long night of severe stiff scary hideousness and fear followed by waking up and realising you can only get to the loo after crawling there from the bed on all 4's in agonising pain. After you have crawled there and done what you needed to do you realise you can't get up from the squat position.............and after 10 minutes of sobbing and sweating all alone knowing that something that needs to be done - you cling to the towel rail - still bent double - wondering if - at the age of 35 - you can even begin to contemplate the reality of ringing your mum to ask her to come round and do something she has not done for at least 33 years.........................I have never laughed-and-cried so hard in my life..............completely and utterly hideous..........................and no...........I didn't ring her - I just got on with it - I am VERY BRAVE!!!!!!!!!!

Great holiday - thank you to the bottom of my heart sis for not freakin out and reassuring me with such brave calm reassuring conviction that I was not really paralysed and it would all be ok................................and it was thank goodness X